Category Archives: Healthful Living
Getting Overtired – Stress Trigger
Last week I was edgy. I had that open nerve feeling again… Things my son said hurt me more than they would normally, his attitude and action really getting on my nerves.
After dealing with as much of it as I could, I hid myself away in the bedroom. I lay down for a while and silently cried. Then it dawned on me… I’m tired. I’m wore out, exhausted and every sensation has been magnified a thousand times over.
I’ll admit, I do like to sleep. I use taking a nap or going to bed early as an escape. An escape from teenage angst, of a cluttered house I can’t manage to keep tidy, to escape the laundry piling up over the top of the hamper although I swear I just did 3 loads yesterday!
But with as much as I sleep, I rarely feel well rested. This past week even less so with the added exercise I’ve started to do.
I’m trying to find ways to rest, recuperate, even if I’m not able to take a nap (and honestly, trying to cut out much of time “sleep to escape” habit)
- Resting in a hot bubble bath is top of the list at the moment!
- When the weather warms up I’ll spend time lounging in my hammock, watching birds and clouds.
- Massage – the local massage academy offers 1 hour massage for $34.00.
- Painting. I tend to forget about how relaxing painting can be until I’m working on a piece and I have to stop because I’m getting drowsy. Or maybe I need to paint more energetically!
- Reading – a good laugh out loud book like something by Christopher Moore or Jenny “The Bloggess” Lawson’s “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” as soon as it comes out in April. I don’t know for certain if Jenny’s book will be laugh out loud, but from reading her blog & tweets, I’m pretty sure it will be!
- Walking – even a short trip around the block does wonders for a negative attitude.
I’m trying to avoid mindless ‘empty’ activities such as watching TV or playing video games.
Eating Observation – I’m still hungry when I eat crap foods…
In the throes of a physiological need for chocolate, I picked up some dark chocolate covered raspberry jelly sticks (think Cadbury Turkish Delight) last week.
Today my stomach started growling so I thought I’d have a few sticks. My stomach is still growling, so I grab a few more… still growling. I need FOOD. REAL FOOD!
I thought it was interesting, the last week and a half I’ve really watched what I’ve eaten. I’ve cut out a lot of the junk & snack food, have eaten more fruits & veggies. When my body is needing sustenance (not a comfort food craving, but it’s been 4-5 hours since I’ve last eaten and I need energy producing fuel foods), the sugary empty calorie stuff won’t cut it. I could have eaten the whole box of those delicious little sticks and my stomach would STILL be growling.
So almonds it is, and my stomach isn’t growling now. I had an ‘ah ha moment’ when it dawned on my empty calories really are EMPTY. No matter how much of them I ate, I wasn’t satisfied, physically or emotionally.
How many other things in our life are “empty calories”?
Eating Healthy – It’s the little things
*This post is from the past. Next time I write with the idea of a future post date, I’ll refer to everything in the past tense. Fish fingers & custard anyone?
I overdid it today at lunch. I knew I would, so it’s not a setback and I don’t feel failure because of it.
I love Sonic. I’m not sure if they’re all over the US but here Oklahoma, it’s the go to drink stop. You can add flavors to their soda fountain drinks to make a gazillion different combinations. My personal favorite is Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper (with Cranberry Diet Sprite a close 2nd).
So running errands at lunch I picked up a #1 with mayo (Sonic burger) with medium fries and my Dr Pepper addiction fix. I get to work and add it myfitnesspal and whoa… 1040 calories!! The medium Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper was 40 of those calories alone!
I have 25 calories left for the day. Well, that’s not going to work, it was only noon when I ate. I have a pudding cup in my lunch tote, if I get desperate for food (my stomach starts growling and it’s not “oh I’m bored, I think I’ll eat”).
4:15 rolls around… stomach is beginning to growl. I’m having tea with a friend and I could wait & grab a scone there. I have no idea how many calories that thing would have but it’s yummy and a nice splurge. But wait, you splurged at lunch. Ok – pudding cup it is.
I grab my tote bag for the pudding cup and wait… there’s an apple in here too!! <Cue heavenly music> An APPLE! I know it’ll put me over my calories for the day but that was going to happen when I eat dinner (until I burn a few running or playing the Wii), and it’s not a pudding cup, or scone.
Now I’m trying to pick fibrous apple peel from my teeth knowing that I won’t feel the urge to cave to a scone craving. At least not until it’s planned and done mindfully!!
Weight Watchers Week 1
I’m not going to post every week my thoughts on Weight Watchers because that would be tedious, like my weekly running updates, so I’m only going to post on the subject when there’s something major happen. I think getting through my first week is pretty major!
Today I weighed in, the Sunday after Thanksgiving with a 1.2 loss! I’ve “felt” thinner, but usually when that happens, I’ve gained. I think 1 lb is a pretty damn good accomplishment on it’s own, but couple it with not one but 2 Thanksgiving dinners and a wedding reception, it’s freakin’ phenomenal!
I have made some interesting observations this week:
Foods I thought were ‘healthy’ or at least, OK are really higher in points than I had imagined. The PB&J I had with a glass of 2% milk (8 oz) for lunch last weekend tallied a whopping 14 points! Yikes!
I can resist chocolate cake with butter cream icing. Someone had leftover birthday cake & brought it up to work, leaving it in the break room. The 1st day, it was easy to resist. The 2nd day, a bit harder. I told EVERYONE at work I had started Weight Watchers because I knew if they knew that and saw me eating the cake, I’d be called out on it. The 3rd day, luckily we were able to leave at 3pm, was the most difficult but I had decided by that time the cake would be dried out and gross and that helped. Still… thinking about it now, chocolate cake would be awesome.
Soy creamer and stevia are zero points so I’m able to get my chocolate fix with some Spicy Chocolate Truffle black tea, with cream & stevia.
Convenience foods are evil. Microwavable breakfast sandwiches on croissants add up to between 10-12 points, depending on if they are the bacon or sausage variety and they’re really not very filling for being so many points.
Now I’m looking at what changes I can make, so I still feel full and satisfied, without feeling like I’m giving up things I enjoy. I’m just taking it all slowly…
AEDM and Update
Art Every Day month was a fail. Well, not so much a fail as a “not really prepared for” event. I had started mid-month working on something every day, even if it was just some doodles with watercolor. Then I’d forget to take a picture and upload it, then I’d forget (or just not have time) to get any art accomplished.
I think either November is a bad month for ‘everyday’ of anything or I’m just not an every day event type of person. Maybe once a week, or every other day. I think there’s a fake journal month in February I may give a try on.
In other news: I joined Weight Watchers. 3rd time’s a charm right!? It’s funny, I had found my weight record from Oct 2007 – Feb 2008 (last time I gave it a go) and I had lost 10 lbs total. Why did I quit? I remember going to the meetings on my lunch breaks at work, maybe that became more difficult, but I didn’t remember losing that much.
So this week is my 1st week on the new points system. It’s a challenge since I know I don’t eat healthy but really it’s got to change. I’m all for “Health at Every Size” and I do believe the media & marketing have distorted what a woman should look like. But I want to be able to run a mile without feeling like my lungs are going to explode, to work outside in the flowerbed & do yard work without puffing like the Little Engine that Could. Doing these things with 75 lbs less of me would make it easier. I also know that diets don’t work and the changes I’m going to be making on Weight Watchers will be a lifestyle change. It’s not a quick fix, there’s no overnight results. Slow and steady.
DEEP is still going but I feel like I’m running to try to catch up. I can hear Connie now saying “You’re fine where you’re at! Don’t worry about it!” but I do need to get some painting done. In BiG I had tried to blog about the ‘lessons’ twice a week, once at the start and once at the end. I may have blogged (on the Ning site) 2-3 times total.
I’ve learned though, this past few weeks, to just let go of it all. Let go of expectations and just roll with it. Flow. It all works out. Feeling stressed or pressured to Art Every Day, write 50k words a month or catch up on a workshop just makes it all worse. If I let go, let it be and happen as it should, it does all work out.
There really is time for everything, if we stop trying to force it.
I’m a Runner Week 7
I’m late on my 1st run for this week. I skipped Tuesday and ran Wednesday instead. I forget what the interval is but there’s only 1 walking interval between two runs. This is also the last week with intervals. Next week it’s a 5 min warm up, run x mins, 5 min cool down. Ugh.
I’m still having problems with my right foot. My Gremlin showed back up today. I felt like what I’m doing is pointless. It’s still hard, my legs hurt, what’s the point. Then my sensible (?) side argued… “You’re on WEEK SEVEN!! This is the longest you’ve stuck with a running program, you’re doing awesome”
No, I can’t run 11 mins straight, but I can 2 –2 1/2 mins (however long the song Yellow Submarine is) That’s way better than 7 weeks ago. in 7 weeks more I may be able to run 3 mins straight. But if I don’t super progress straight away, it doesn’t mean I’m failing. I’ll keep listening to my body, walk when i need to, challenge myself to run but not pushing myself in a ‘no pain no gain’ mentality. My body has started to nag at me when i miss a run.
2nd Run – skipped it. Don’t judge me!
3rd Run – I managed to go to the group. I wondered if i missed the time or was at the wrong place. There were only 7 of us total. I pushed myself from the start, had my best time so far and ran 2.9 miles in 41 mins. I felt like on 2nd part of the run, I was going crazy. I saw a squirrel during my walk part and felt I needed to run to it (just to watch it freak and go up a tree), then I would run to a light post, after making the light post, I’d run to a park bench, after that to a tree and kept adding ‘okay, now run to….” until I couldn’t go and honestly felt the tree I had made it to let me know it was okay to walk and I had ran quite a bit.
But now I’m a bit panicky about Race for the Cure. Not the running part, but we were told that they expect 18,000 people to participate about 4,000-5,000 runners. This all takes place in Bricktown. I’m not familiar with driving in that area and 18k people is a LOT. I’m not a group/crowds person. I’m really uncertain if this is something I want to do right now.
I’m not quitting on running though, I’ll just look for a smaller race to start with.
I’m a Runner Week 6
1st Run – the boys went with me. I thought it would be fun to have some running buddies but realized that running is my ‘alone time’. Time i can spend with my thoughts, paying attention to how I’m feeling during the run, communing with nature, the seasons and the NOW. I told the boys on Mon, Wed & Fri I’ll walk and they can join me on those days, but my running days are for ME!l
The 2nd & 3rd runs were okay. It feels more like a challenge again. My lungs, legs, foot and side were aching. I didn’t make notes afterwards so this post is a bit lacking.
There’s 3 weeks left in the program and 2 weekend until the Race for the Cure. I’m getting anxious.
I’m a Runner Week 5
Wow! Week 5. This is really the longest I’ve ever stuck with a running program and I even skipped a run this week.
I ran Tuesday, it was hot but it was an ok run. The breathing is getting easier. I still breath heavy & get winded but i don’t feel like I’m gasping for breath.
Thursday I skipped because I had been sick Wednesday (sinus / allergies). I had really planned on skipping Saturday too but I woke up at 6:30am with David snoring and couldn’t go back to sleep.
Saturday’s run with the group was easier. Maybe it’s the motivation of being with a group. I still had problems the last interval and ended up walking some but I ended up with a pretty good pace.
The Race for the Cure is in 4 weeks. I don’t expect to run it fast (figure 45-50 mins at the rate I’m at now) but I feel much more prepared for this than any other 5k I’ve done.
I’m a Runner Week 4
This week I didn’t make any of the group runs, but did manage the 3 runs at home.
1st Run:
I didn’t really pay attention to the interval timer. I thought there was an extra interval where there wasn’t so I was surprised when I heard the buzzer signaling the end of the cool down. I was also about a mile away from home so my 30 min run turned into 45 mins.
2nd Run:
This was a crappy day for me and I really hoped running would have cheered me up a bit. Instead, I had a bit where I felt worse. During my walking interval, I walked passed a house where the yard was filled with children. I heard the “Your Mama’s so ugly…” jokes as I approached but didn’t expect the “You’re Mama’s so fat she looks like THAT” followed by an uproar of laughter.
I know I’m overweight. I’ve seen pictures of myself and honestly not recognized me. I don’t see myself like that in my mind though. While i don’t see myself as super thin, I guess I do have a thinner self image that what the pictures & mirrors show. I felt my eyes starting to burn and couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I walked most of my next running interval thinking “Why the hell am I even trying? What’s the point? I’m fat, no amount of exercise or dieting will change it. I’ve gone down this path so many times and for what? Nothing on the scale changes or if it does, it just goes right back up.” I decided at 40 yrs old to stop dieting, and no more denying myself something because it was labeled ‘bad’. I’d eat in moderation, I’d eat whatever I wanted. And I gained 20 lbs.
But then another voice showed up in my head “You’re going to let a bunch of KIDS make you feel bad about yourself? What do they know, they’re kids! You’re training for a 5K and you KNOW you feel better when you’ve been out running. You’re doing something most people only think about.” I agreed with this voice and started back running. By the end of the run I felt better, but was still depressed about things in general so I dug out my St. John’s Wort. it really does help.
3nd Run:
I had intended to run with the group for this one but after getting up at 5:30am, discovering The Monkey finished the last of the bread without taking another out of the freezer so there was no toast for breakfast, and no milk for cereal I went back to bed. I ended up running around 3pm, after the winds shifted and got a bit cooler. It was clouding up and I thought it would be a nice run. Then it started raining, which was fun. I felt like a real runner, out in the rain, a nice slow drizzle. Then when it stopped and the sun came back out, it was like a sauna. Humid and hot, that part sucked but I did manage to run a full 2 mins (1st interval) I’m not sure what the intervals were, running 2, 3, 5 and 4, I think… I could only fully run the 2 min one. BUT I COULD RUN IT! I forget which week it was, I thought 90 secs was too much! Slow improvements!!
Oh, and according to my Noom program on my phone, I’ve lost 2.1 lbs this past week. Partly I’m sure because I’ve been a bit sick to my stomach and haven’t wanted to eat, but maybe this exercise thing will stick this time around.
I’m a Runner Week 3
I decided to switch up the format for my running posts. 3 post a week saying “it was hard, but it’s getting better” has become tedious. So I’ll do a weekly summery of all 3 runs, and whatever else goes through my head.
Since I’ve posted about run 1 for this week .. Run 2 I started off too quickly and by the 2nd interval, I was struggling. I modified that for my 3rd run, starting off much slower and was able to run more during the 2nd interval. I still couldn’t run 2 mins straight, but I would walk a few steps until I caught my breath, and run again. I have a feeling this is going to be a technique I use often the next 3 weeks of this program.
My lungs weren’t sore on the 3rd run. They did ache a bit on the 2nd run. I also tried to not think about breathing so much. I’m to the point where I’m over thinking it all, my form, my stride, my breathing. I’ll work on drills and such on my off days, but try to “stay out of my head’ on my actual runs.
I’m also now thinking about fuel. Food. “How will eating X effect my run?” I had planned on doing “No Sweets September” but that’s a bit drastic. I did reinstall Cardio Trainer’s weight loss app Noom on my phone to track what I eat. I like that it’s a rather simplistic method. Food fall into 3 categories; green, yellow and red. Obviously you want to eat green foods, moderately eat yellow and try to avoid reds but it’s okay to have them occasionally. Portion sizes are tiny, small, medium and large. Two slices of whole wheat bread would be two medium greens. Peanut butter spread on the bread would be a small yellow (maybe a red but I think peanut butter in moderation is a good way to get some protein). That’s it. Break down meals into individual components. A burger: 2 bread, meat, cheese, lettuce tomato…. you calculate each item, Being on my phone it’s a breeze to add it quickly. So while I won’t deny myself a sweet on occasion this month, I’m going to look at adding more “green” and less “red” foods to my diet. Not to lose weight necessarily… but to have better fuel for my runs.
I’ve completed a third of the running program. This has been the farthest I’ve gotten in any C25K program. The next 3 weeks look hairy, but I thought that on the 1st three weeks too.
